I just had a clearness

On Saturday I had a clearness meeting, in hopes of helping me discern what to do about my meeting membership. It was very moving for me. I didn't reach clarity about what to do; but we had less than an hour and I hope to continue. Currently, you see, I'm a member of monthly meeting (Celo) a thousand miles away from where I live; I haven't seen anyone from Celo for a year now. I feel I should transfer; but matters are complicated because my local meeting doesn't satisfy me in some ways. About the clearness, there are two points I'd like to log here on the web:

Clearnesses are great and everyone should have one in their lives soon. I feel so grateful for being listened to so carefully. And they can really help you get in touch.

Meeting membership: an invitation to take it more seriously. Some folks have been surprised that I'm taking it so seriously. Many weighty Friends do urge me to transfer. But I've run into some folks (usually older than I) who are against the very idea of membership, on grounds that it's restrictive or elitist. Others say, oh, I grew up Quaker (go to FGC/a Quaker school/yearly meeting/etc), I don't need to sign a paper in order to be a Friend. And indeed, indeed, the truth of the matter is an inner t(T)ruth. But membership is about commitment, and declaration; and being taken care of. I committed to help Celo; and attended business meeting regularly, and volunteered, and gave them money (and still do!). I declared my commitment to Friends' practices and beliefs {beliefs? which ones are those?...}. And being taken care of: an element many folks don't take heed of. Celo has held clearnesses for me before (three!); has given me money for Quakerly travel; they always asked me how I was doing. Most of all, it's a spiritual joining. I loved them; they loved me. When I sat, one of the group, in worship, I could feel their thoughts around me, as we joined a subterranean river, communicating without words. I want that again.

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